Poetry Slam

A couple years ago we had a ward talent show and I was volunteered to do a poetry reading. This is the poem I wrote. My roommate Danny read the odd passages and I read the even ones. A friend of mine had me email him a copy today for his upcoming talent show (he'll be doing it with his wife so it will be a bit more normal) so I'm also posting it for you to enjoy.

Pop Romance

May I have your attention please?Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady

I am a Barbie girl, in a Barbie worldI’m made of plastic. It’s fantastic

I like big butts, and I cannot lieYou other brothers can’t denyWhen a girl walks in with a little bitty waist And a round thing in your face . . .

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,and they're like,its better than yours,darn right its better than yours, i can teach you, but i have to charge

If you want my body and you think I'm sexycome on sugar let me know.If you really need me just reach out and touch mecome on honey tell me so

That don't impress me muchSo you got the looks but have you got the touchDon't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alrightBut . . .

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirtSo sexy it hurtsAnd I'm too sexy for my hatToo sexy for my hat what do you think about that

All I wanna do is have some funUntil the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

Girls, all I really want is girls
In the morning it’s girls
Cause in the evening it’s girls.

Girls don’t like boys
Girls like cars and money.

You stupid girlYou stupid girlCan’t believe you fake itCan’t believe you fake it

I'm just a girl in the world...That's all that you'll let me be!I'm just a girl, living in captivity

Everything you say to meTakes me one step closer to the edgeAnd I'm about to break

My loneliness is killing meI must confess I still believeWhen I'm not with you I lose my mindGive me a signHit me baby one more time

I wanna push you around, I will, I will I wanna push you down, I will, I will

I get knocked down, but I get up againYa ain’t never gonna keep me down

Quit playin' games with my heart Before you tear us apart I should've known from the start Before you got into my heart

Oops!...I did it againI played with your heart, got lost in the gameOh baby, babyOops!...You think I'm in loveThat I'm sent from aboveI'm not that innocent

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angelCloser than my peeps you are to me, baby

Don't speak I know just what you're sayingSo please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts

Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,Make it last forever friendship never ends,If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

Lovin is what I got
I said remember that
Lovin is what I got
I said remember that

I've been a bad bad girl I've been careless with a delicate man And its a sad sad world When a girl will break a boy Just because she can

Dreams last so long, even after you’re goneI know, that you love me and soon you will seeYou were meant for me and I was meant for you

Kiss me out of the bearded barleyNightly, beside the green, green grassSwing, swing, swing the spinning stepYou wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

It's the way you love meIt's a feeling like thisIt's centrifugal motionIt's perpetual blissIt'a that pivotal moment , It’s (ah) impossible This kiss, this kiss

And I-E-I Will Always Love You oo oo ooo.