Last year my New Year’s resolution was to eat a lobster. I haven’t accomplished it yet, but I’m pretty sure I will. I don’t have to eat the whole thing or anything, so it’s pretty doable. So with that presumed victory under my belt, I’m taking on a bigger task for 2009.
I’ve come to the conclusion that 2008 Chris just wasn’t very sexy. I think 2007 Chris did alright, though he was nothing to write home about either. But there’s still hope for 2009 Chris.
But I need you, internet, to help me accomplish this goal. If I knew how to be sexy, I’d be doing it, and be married to Evangeline Lily. I know each of you has at least one thing you know about me that has kept you from dating me. For some of you it’s your sexual orientation, marital status or familial relation, which admittedly isn’t very helpful. But I’d like to know all the other reasons.
The question is, how can I best fish for insults? I think I’m going to get better info if the tips are anonymous. I know that you can’t hurt my feelings telling me face to face, but I’ll provide the anonymity to make it more comfortable for you. I also think I’ll get more honest suggestions if the answers aren’t posted directly on the internet. So here’s how it’s going to work:
Sign in to the group email account: firstname.lastname@example.org . The password is sexyin2009. From there you can anonymously email my receiving account, email@example.com . Simple. Probably overly complicated, but still in the realm of simple. If you don’t want people other than me to read the suggestions you send, make sure to delete them from the Sent Mail box. And presto, you’ve anonymously told me a way I can improve myself, and if Spam pirates or identity thieves try to get involved I can just delete the accounts. Perfect.
What do I mean by sexy? As I said, really I want to know things that limit my dating, because it seems pretty limited right now. So physical observations are fine, but not something I can do much about. Fashion, behavior, habits, personality traits, these are the things that would be more helpful. Obviously those who interact with me regularly will have better insight, but random internet folk should feel free to chime in. Also, input from womenfolk would seem to be more helpful, but maybe you fellas have some great tips.
So please, send those suggestions to me in within the next month so I can have a little list for 2009. If you don’t mind me sharing the tips on the old blog, please say so in the message. Otherwise I’ll assume it’s for my eyes only. Thanks in advance, and here’s to being sexier in 2009.