Saturday, April 01, 2006

PSI: Perpetually Single Individual

If ever there were a formula to make you feel like scum (ie single) this is it: go to both a mission reunion and a wedding reception in one night. If you don’t understand I’ll explain briefly.

Mission reunions have one purpose and one purpose only: to show the other missionaries your wife. You can substitute this with your girlfriend, but even being unsealed is a strike against you. Showing up with a baby gets you extra points. Against my better judgment I showed up to mine sans wife, baby or even girlfriend. At least I have my hair (red though it may be) which some of my contemporaries can no longer claim.

Wedding receptions are horrible things. The free food is great of course, and doubly so when they have chocolate fountains and/or wedding cheesecake. At least this reception had chocolate fountains. But horrible factors include waiting in lines, making small talk with their relatives you don’t care about and will never meet again, and feeling guilty for not giving a gift. This last reason is of course my fault, but it’s been a busy week. Add to the fact that the groom (my old roommate) is considerably younger than I and met his wife shortly after returning from his mission (being bitter that he is from Hawaii and got to go on his mission to Australia is a separate issue) doesn’t help anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, and his wife as well, and most certainly wish them the best. But going to his reception a couple weeks before leaving the land of potential marriage (in the altered words of Babylon 5: Provo is the last, best hope for marriage) was not a recipe for a healthy self image.

I realize of course that the last couple blog entries paint me as being a horrible person. Perhaps I am. But if I can deal with it so can you.

Song of the night: "Walking with a Ghost" The White Stripes


Catherine Elizabeth said...

Christopher, you are a guy. Provo is NOT your last, best hope for marriage. If you come to NYC, you'll find that if anything the girl to guy ratio has improved for you. I'd guess single Mormons girls to guys here are 5:1. Don't worry, you'll have to plenty to choose from. The real problem will be if you want to take your new wife to show off to your old mission companions, the transportation with be expensive, but I'm sure that'd be worth it for the bragging rights of having hair AND a wife at the same time.

Amy-Alisa said...

And might I add that finding a wife away from BYU and in the next few years increases the chance that she has at least gotten a Bachelor's degree somewhere instead of: meeting you and falling so madly in love that she has to marry you Right Now and leave BYU, aka land of education, and follow you to some new city where she won't have friends, so will be clingy and weepy and have to get some crummy job to help put you through medical school while being pregnant and resent you for the rest of your lives. So, maybe there's an upside.

Emily said...

Statistically (even among Mormons) those who marry later and have more education have better (longer) marriages. You are making good choices already (and defining it as a choice is your right and good spin).

Also, you technically have one year to buy a gift, but I reccomend sooner rather than later, because you might forget and you will certainly get poorer. Some of my favorites: a phone, a nativity set, a bunch of standard board games that every family needs (Scrabble, Monopoly, Sorry, Uno, etc.). The last is nice because you can scale up or down depending on your wallet.