Sunday, May 11, 2008

Search for masochism on Google and now you'll find my blog

So I was talking to Twig the other day (I’ve decided that pseudonyms are fun) and she rebuked my claim that I’m antisocial. Her argument was that I throw far too many parties to be antisocial. I lacked a good explanation at the time, but since then I’ve figured out why I’m right. It’s always important that I think about things until I discover how I’m right. I am antisocial, and I do throw a lot of parties, because I’m a masochist.

Now going to parties isn’t usually a painful experience for me. Nor do I consider my parties more painful than other parties. In fact I think my parties are great, which is one of the main reasons I throw them: I think I’m good at it. But is the fact that you’re good at something a good reason to do it? An interesting point for you to ponder. I submit that it’s probably not. I also throw parties because I like to be in charge of things. Again, is the fact that I like running things a reason to run unnecessary things? Probably not. So I like running things and think I’m good at it, but do I like them? Again, I don’t consider the party a painful experience. I’m not an all shy, and I have the good sense to only invite people I like into my home, so it’s not an unpleasant experience per se. But I’ve had better. I quite often end up talking to just a handful of the people at any social gathering. Occasionally I even leave the party to go do something else. So while I have a good time at a party, I think it’s clear that I actually prefer activities with smaller groups, or even better with one cute individual. And barring that, being on my own works pretty well.

I certainly appear to be a masochist in my dating life (don’t worry, no S&M stories to follow.) Almost without fail I’ve been attracted to girls that don’t like me. Through sheer persistence and ingenuity I’ve tricked a select few of them into dating me, but I don’t think any of them liked me from the start. Obviously the “getting girls that don’t like you to date you” plan hasn’t worked very well. Once a girl actually pursued me and we ended up dating, but of course I dumped her after a little over a week. She was a fantastic girl, cute, smart, talented, the whole bit. And she actually sought me out. So of course I had to end that quickly.

I’m even a bit of a masochist professionally. I enjoy the med school experience, but it certainly involves a fair amount of self inflicted pain. I hated pulmonary, but I just had to hold out until cardiology. Guess what? I hated cardiology. But not as much as musculoskeletal. And guess what? Renal was even worse than that. So I pick a career that involves near constant studying (which I generally don’t enjoy) and end up disliking half the material (studying something you hate is a horrendous double whammy.)

So I’m a masochist. Where do I go from here?

Yesterday I decided that I wasn’t going to throw any more parties. I was done with that. I had thrown one Friday that I think went pretty well, but it really wasn’t accomplishing what I wanted it to. The real reason I throw parties isn’t that I like planning things, or that I think I’m good at it, but that it seemed to be a good way to meet girls. I’ve only organized one guys night, and I ended up inviting girls. At BYU I was able to meet quite a few girls by throwing parties, but it really hasn’t worked here. Of the 14 people at Battle of the Sexes 2, I could only date 1. And I didn’t really get a chance to talk to her. So if my primary goal wasn’t being met and I had things I’d rather be doing, why throw parties any longer? I decided to stop being a masochist and stop throwing these ineffective parties.

Today I planned two parties. Why? Masochism.

Unfortunately I am a man of principles. Surprising, but true. Lazy, cantankerous, antisocial, and evidently bad at sticking to my decisions, but principled. Tomorrow is a friend’s birthday, so I had to throw him a party. I don’t think anyone should ever throw themselves a birthday party. It’s self indulgent. But, everyone should have a birthday party. There are few actual responsibilities of friends, but airport runs, kidneys and throwing birthday parties are among them. So I was forced to throw a party for tomorrow. Then on Friday we have The Flight of the Conchords concert. Some friends are coming into town and I believe people should be welcomed. I also believe that people with mutual interests should band together around their common enjoyment (perhaps that is why I plan parties, but the finding girls element is much closer to my conscious mind.) So I’m figuring out what we should be doing before and/or after the show. But I’m not enjoying it.

4 comments:

peetie said...

"I quite often end up talking to just a handful of the people at any social gathering. Occasionally I even leave the party to go do something else. So while I have a good time at a party, I think it’s clear that I actually prefer activities with smaller groups, or even better with one cute individual. And barring that, being on my own works pretty well."

I didn't know you thought I was cute. That's kind of gay, dude. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

Laurie said...

as soon as i read twig, i knew exactly who you were talking about. good one chris! but i am still not sold on your new found theory. you thrive on socializing, which thus makes you social, whether you like it or not. you never addressed how this makes you anti-social

Ranteumptom said...

Peetie, Crispy Rice time is a very special time, but I could never be attracted to someone with a mohawk. As soon as a non-mohawk individual seeks out my company, you will be dropped. Contrary to public opinion, hos before bros.

As for the allegation that I'm not antisocial, I think I certainly touched on how I have no difficulty being alone. If I were 100% antisocial I suppose I'd want to be alone 24/7, which certainly wouldn't be ideal. But being alone works a lot of the time, and being with one person or a small group is better than a large group.

A strict definition of antisocial is someone who is unwilling to socialize in a normal way or is hostile to others. Peetie will tell you I don't socialize in a normal way, and Husky will tell you I am hostile to others.

Kate said...

I don't think you're antisocial, but I do think you're hostile. Mostly to me. Can you only be antisocial to one person?
And you should keep throwing parties.