I love drama. There’s probably no way for an outside observer to know this, apart from reading my blog where I disclose my deep, dark secrets. But I do love drama. It quickens my pulse. I feel it and I like it. I like the conflict, the clashing of different ideologies and views. I like seeing which sides win, and whether the victory is based on actual logic or sheer tenacity. I like seeing how people actually act when placed into the struggle, when the ugliness or strength that is usually hidden away comes forth. And though I make it sound epic, it happens all the time. Fights between parents and children, arguments between friends, really anything that becomes really heated is interesting. And when romance is thrown into the equation, it becomes heated all the more easily.
Now I don’t particularly like to be in the drama. You’d be hard-pressed to describe me as dramatic. I don’t get mad enough to get in fights (verbal, physical, psychic or otherwise) and rarely even argue. Either I’m right and don’t need to prove it to you or I don’t care enough about what we’re discussing for it to become heated. But when I am thrown into the drama, I can at least enjoy that pounding heart, even if the results are going to be bad. Because really, how often are the results beneficial? If there’s a fight, things have fallen apart. Even if it’s relationship drama, where at least love is somehow involved, the fact that you’re calling it drama indicates that things aren’t going well. Someone is going to get hurt. You’re either going to get hurt or someone else is, which will bring the guilt and/or sympathy pains. Even when I’m not involved and am enjoying the show, you know there will be negative consequences, and I certainly don’t enjoy that element.
I haven’t had much drama in recent years. I’ve witnessed a nibble here and there, but I haven’t had any myself. Med school doesn’t really lend itself to high drama. I’ve been mad once since living in Columbus. I get irritated and annoyed on a daily basis, but I can really only point to one instance where I was mad. And while the situation was obviously such that it made me mad, I did enjoy the bit of spice it provided. As I recently pointed out things have been very quiet on the dating front these past couple years, so I’ve had no relationship drama to speak of. But recently I had some non-relationship drama, which was a surprise, given how little socializing I’ve done lately. Obviously, I would’ve preferred a relationship, and barring that relationship drama, but the non-relationship drama was still very interesting. Drama where someone liked me would nearly always beat drama of someone disliking me, but when it gets me out of studying for a while I’m not complaining. And had I been actively pursuing this girl the non-relationship drama could have been quite depressing, but given that I wasn’t, I just got some fun wheeling and dealing with no emotional consequences. Angst, lust, subterfuge, betrayal, it made for a great diversion. They’re not about to start a soap opera about my life, but it’s nice that something’s going on. Though it does make it harder to get back to this stupid immunology.