Monday, June 05, 2006

Facilitated Inspiration

A cynic’s guide on how to get a calling.

Step 1: Bear your testimony during Sacrament Meeting to establish that you have one and consider yourself an active member of the branch.
Step 1b (optional): Incorporate the balance of intellectual and practical pursuit of gospel knowledge into your testimony.
Step 2: Mention to your Sunday School President that you wouldn’t mind subbing when a teacher’s out of town.
Step 3: Wait approximately ten minutes.
Step 4: Hand your tithing to the Branch President, again showing that you’re active and providing an opportunity for him to pull you into his office.
Step 5: You’re a Gospel Doctrine Teacher.

Song of the moment: “Take Your Momma Out” Scissor Sisters


emily said...

I don't find this particularly cynical: it is just plain sense.

I think Sunday School teacher is great: you are basically your own boss because Sunday School Presidents hang out in the hall, no meetings to attend, and everyone gets to know you (lots of attention from girls).

Catherine Elizabeth said...

You bear your testimony? I don't doubt that you have one or anything, I just can't imagine doing so voluntarily. I haven't stood up in a testimony meeting in at least 10 years. I never feel like I have anything to say that will be beneficial enough to the congregation to warrant a) how umcomfortable I would feel getting up and b) making everyone listen to me.

Amy-Alisa said...

I think they made a good choice. You'll do a great job. Have you heard Catherine's story about the Second Counselor "really feeling this was where the Lord wanted her" and then asking what her name was again?

Catherine Elizabeth said...

Amy-you forgot the part where he told me he was going to ask Emily to be the Relief Society pianist, and when I told him she doesn't play the piano he said, "oh, well do you?"

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