Fashion Late

I am a novelty glutton. Whether it be the latest in food, music, birthday parties, whathaveyou, I want to experience it. So when I heard there was a fashion show going down in Scottsdale last weekend, I was all in. Not that I’m that into fashion; I’m pretty sure the last article of clothing I purchased was from a grocery store. Socks by the way, not a suit or anything. But I’ve never been to a fashion show, ergo, I must go. Plus it was a friend’s birthday celebration, and fashion is her thing, so all the more reason to try it out.

Venturing into Scottsdale on a weekend night is always an experience. Short skirts, polo shirts, fake tans and fake boobs. It’s not a bad place by any means, just a place where a lot of attention is paid to the veneers and exteriors. Where better to hold a fashion show? But I knew that I was venturing out of my element, and wanted a partner who’s fashion savvy would balance my naïveté, so invited Scrappy along to help me from embarrassing myself.

The show was at The W, which is by far the nicest hotel I’ve ever been in. Nicer than a Marriott you guys. Though mostly when I travel I stay in hostels, or in the back of my car, so the nicest hotel I’ve ever been in is not the greatest of praise. But there were sports cars out front, bouncers at the door, multiple concierges and make-out music in the elevator, so it was fancy to me. And then we got to the rooftop. (Fake) white sand beaches, filled with the aforementioned fake tans, boobs and perhaps fake people. There were multiple bars with a multitude of drinks, with numerous tipsy drinkers and strangely, girls in slutty softball outfits serving them. It was an odd contrast to see the clearly expensively attired party-goers mixed with workers in sorority Halloween costumes. But the night was nominally to a baseball theme, so I guess that’s the best that could be done.

We explored the roof for a while, a bit shell-shocked by the surroundings. The night became a bit of a contest, so spot the highest heels, biggest biceps, most outrageous dress etc. We met up with some friends and our party party gradually grew. Eventually we made our way over to the pool where the actual show would occur. We didn’t know when the show was going to start, but it turns out fashionably late is actually a real thing. The show started around 11 PM, which kind of blew my little Mormon mind. Hadn’t these people ever heard of 7 PM tip?

The show itself probably would’ve been a bit awkward if I were someone prone to feeling awkward. Though there was another guy or two around, I was mostly watching the show with 6 girls. The show that consisted of 90% naked women doing nothing but strutting and posing. Yes, there were some male models, and sometimes the women had on more than a bikini, but not that often. So it was a bit odd, but definitely a novel experience. I didn’t really know what the appropriate commentary was, but Scrappy and I made it through without saying anything too inappropriate. I was hoping one of the high-rollers would invite us into one of their luxury booths so we could scale the social ladder, but no such luck. So we had to stop by In and Out on the way home to prove that the show hadn’t completely obliterated our body image.

So now I’ve been to a fashion show. What’s up next? I missed the Renaissance fair last week so I’ll have to keep looking for something suitably unfashionable.