Monday, October 26, 2009

Fast Food Follies

Like most everyone that has access to fast food, I eat too much fast food. It’s just so fast. And so . . . food. But because I spend too much time in fast food lines, I get to see some amusing interactions. Which really, is the exact opposite what fast food is about. The drive-through is there so we can have as little interaction with people as possible. I digress. Some drive-through anecdotes:

1. I have supersonic hearing, so can hear what the people in front and behind of me order. The other day the guy ahead of me ordered three cheeseburgers, hold the ketchup and mustard, with extra grease. HE ORDERED EXTRA GREASE. At least get extra grease on just one of your burgers fella, not all three.

2. I pulled up to the window and the worker started to laugh at me. Huh? I was wearing some bulky sunglasses, but I didn’t really think they were that entertaining. I didn’t give him a tip. Because normally I tip my fast food attendant.

3. I pulled up to the window another time and thought to myself, “Self, the girl at the window is too hot to be working at Wendys.” I then had to question myself, exactly what kind of prejudice was I experiencing? Where does someone that’s too hot to work at Wendys work? I didn’t give her a tip either. That tip thing before was a lie.

4. Another time there was more of a line, so after I got my change I couldn’t drive ahead to the other window. So the cashier guy asks me if I have a girlfriend. Small talk? I came here for a Whopper dude, not to talk about my dating life. And dating? What about the weather, or the new Angry Whopper, or Afghanistan? I tell him I don’t and he starts to tell me about his girlfriend. I was in the middle of a story when I was able to pull ahead, so I had to interrupt him. I didn’t feel too bad about it.

5. One time I got my change, then drove away without my food. It’s on my list of stupidest things I’ve ever done. Also on the list, leaving behind my $40 at the grocery store, and trying to unlock the door to my house with my electronic car door opener.

This post made me want a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger.


esodhiambo said...

Very amusing post, but I have to question your super sonic hearing; I just don't believe that anyone WOULD nor that you even COULD order extra grease. Sorry.

Ranteumptom said...

Let me also demonstrate my supersonic memory. Here was his order verbatim.

"I'd like three cheeseburgers please. But I don't want ketchup or mustard. Can I replace the ketchup and mustard with extra grease? I like my burgers really greasy."

Admittedly, I wasn't able to figure out what the operator responded, but you can't understand what they're saying half the time anyway.

Erin said...

Maybe he said cheese rather than grease?