Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The last one (I promise)

And now, the nerdiest rap battle ever written. 
If you want to gauge your nerdiness, or at least your Star Trek nerdiness, see how many references you can catch. There are 46. 

Rap Bat'leth

Turn on your communicator so you can understand                                                                       
I’m the Trekkie supreme, Star Trek’s Number One fan
I’m a Trekker true blue not a Trekkie like you
I know the trivia, got the toys, now what you gonna do?           
Collectibles you nerd, they’re not silly toys
Go home and play with the other girls and boys
And trivia? Forget it, you lack what I got
I know my Tuvok from my Spock from my Gul Dukat
Listen to what I say, cause I’ve said it before
Your brain is defective like Data’s brother Lore
You think you’re Q, the boss of time and space
You’re weaker than Uhura and got a Klingon’s face
That’s latinum rich, you making that remark
Your nose would fit in with Nog or Rom or Quark
And that skin you got, makes you look Cardassian
Use some moisturizer before you come back again
At least I got hair like Kirk, not yours like Picard
The glare from the sun is putting me off guard
I may look like Sisko, but I’ll take that any day
The captain you most resemble is Captain Janeway
Your glasses look stupid like Geordi LaForge
With that hipster look, you conform like a Borg
But unlike my man Levar, you ain’t got no smarts
You’re no positronic brain, you’re not even spare parts
Dang it Jim, I’m just a rapper not a doctor
I’m tired of diagnosing all the ways you’re improper
You think you’re the best? You got a problem neurological
Just ask Mr. Spock, he’ll say you’re highly illogical
Vulcans and Romulans some say they look the same
If you can’t tell the difference then get out of the game
Feel me like a Betazoid when you hear me say
Don’t live long and prosper, just get outta my way
You think you’re so tough, like Worf or a Gorn
Your breath’s the only thing strong, it stinks like Morn
The trouble with tribbles is they keep reproducing
That’s not trouble for you, you’re never seducing
You can only get ladies when you’re in the holodeck
Why should she Troi to your Riker, or give any respect
Not even a Vulcan would find your game fascinating
Warn the Federation if you’re the future of dating
This duel may encounter a point way too far
One of us could end up dead as Tasha Yar
I think I’d mop the floor with you like a pail of Odo
But we don’t need to stay solo, you know, yolo
Well beam me up Scotty, I think I do agree
I dominate my quadrant, but there are another 3
Our enterprising voyage into deep space far
We’ll call it a draw, and trek like a star

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