1/3 Heretic

So on Sunday Sacrament Meeting went over time. Fine, whatever. People like bearing testimony. I can dig it. So we end up 15 minutes over. I get up to make the Sunday School announcements and announce that Sunday School will end 6 minutes late to compensate. I then think to myself, well, I probably shouldn't make decisions for the whole ward without at least consulting with the Bishopric. So I turn around to confirm that that's ok and he looks at me seriously and says "You'll end on time." I was irked.

For starters, let's go into the logistics of this specific situation. Perfect world Sunday School: 50 minutes. Realistic Sunday School, about 40 minutes. Singles Ward Sunday School 30 minutes. People need to flirt, I get it, I support it. But when Sacrament goes over 15 minutes, then we're getting a 20-25 minute lesson. To teach Isaiah. Adding insult to injury, I was forced to end right at 3:00. Elder's Quorum ended 15 minutes early. Lameness all around.

I didn't write this post to complain about this Sunday. I wrote this post to complain about Elders Quorum, and how I just don't like it. There, I said it.

I have 2 clear biases. 1. I've been a Sunday School teacher 4 times. I like being a Sunday School teacher. 2. I like girls. These 2 biases are going to fuel most of my complaints.

On average, the lessons are worse. I've had good EQ lessons, but they are much rarer than good Sunday School lessons. EQ lessons trend worse for two main reasons. Firstly there are no girls in the class. The problem is not that I don't have girls to talk to during the lesson, though that is a negative. The problem is that the teacher knows there will be no girls in the audience. Without girls, guys lose much of their motivation to achieve. Hence poorer preparation (ie sometimes no lesson preparation) and thus worse lessons.

Secondly Elders Quorum has "worse" lesson material. I don't think the material is actually worse, it's just not as conducive to my learning. Right now we're doing Gospel Principles. You can pull stimulating conversation from GP, but it's tough. When we're not using GP we're using those president of the church manuals, which are great IF you spend a lot of time preparing the lesson. If not you spend an hour reading quotes aimlessly.

The content of discussion is less varied than Sunday School. Home Teaching, performing ordinances, service. Got it. There's a lot more to the Priesthood, I know that. But we don't talk about it as much.

They talk about football a lot more in EQ.

I think an important element of Relief Society is the emotional component. The sisters bond, share feelings, become a cohesive group etc. Great. The Elders Quorum doesn't try to do this much. And if they did, I wouldn't be very interested in it. I have some great friends who happen to be male, but generally I'm not inclined or interested in bonding with men. I don't think there's any homophobia involved, just a strong sense of effective time management. I have a limited amount of time, I want to spend it bonding with women. I'm a far cry from a Don Juan, I just prefer the company of the fairer sex.

I'm not saying get rid of Elders Quorum. I'm just saying I wouldn't miss it if they did. And they should have let me have that 6 minutes.