Monday, April 26, 2010

It's good to be bad

I have a bit of a penchant for bad things. Who knows why. For whatever reason, all of my favorite movies have come up in the last week or so. Now at this point in my life, with uncountable movies under my belt, I’m not going to try to figure out my favorite movie. However, in the past I have had a favorite movie, and they have been almost entirely, bad.

The time of the week when I DON’T rank things: Favorite Movie Edition

1. Clash of the Titans (1982-1987)
2. Beetlejuice (1988-1991)
3. Tremors (1992-1994)
4. Akira (1995-2000)
5. Gladiator (2000-2002)

Yes, those dates are almost entirely made up. But they might be true. The only movie on the list that is solidly a good movie is Gladiator. Akira is an excellent movie in some ways, but I like it because of many of its faults (the nonsense plot, horrible dub etc). Tremors, Beetlejuice and Clash, well, they’re just bad. And still some of my favorite movies.

So indeed, I felt quite obligated to see the new Clash of the Titans. Sadly, it wasn’t as bad as the original, so not as enjoyable. It was pretty bad though. Everybody in the film was very contradictory: most notably “I hate the gods! Pray to the gods! Let’s show those gods! Use the gifts the gods gave you!” Worthington did fine, continuing his run of forgettable but adequate performances. Liam’s main personality trait was that his armor was shiny. Ralph still has a ridiculous name, and somehow looked like Bobcat Goldthwait throughout the movie. Gemma was very attractive, but for some reason dressed like a Viking, and did a lot more butt-kicking than Io probably should. You know, since the rest of movie was in line with Greek mythology. Anyway, it was bad, but fun, but could have been a lot worse-slash-better.

I’d like to be early adopter with cool things like iPads, but I can’t afford it and hate waiting in lines. So I was an early adopter with the Double Down sandwich, getting one the day after they were released. I couldn’t quite make myself get one opening day, lest the staff openly mock me. I got one expecting it to be gross, and it largely met my expectations. However, part of this is the fault of my local KFC, which I imagine doesn’t do well at the KFC Olympics. They served the sandwich in a box, allowing it to fall apart, and not providing the wrap shown in pictures to help you eat the sandwich. So basically I had to assemble it myself, and it kept falling apart. So basically it was like holding a fried chicken meal all at once, with too much sauce. So my biggest impression was that it was messy, much more than how it actually tasted. But it tasted alright. I’ve certainly had worse foods, fast food and slow food, but it wasn’t good.

Here’s an interesting article about how bad it is nutritionally: here’s a link! Surprisingly, not horrible. Doubly surprising, I haven’t had any of the sandwiches that are worse for you. So while it was no taste sensation, I guess it was the unhealthiest sandwich I’ve had, which made it a worthwhile experience.

Wait for the dollar theater for Titans. Probably don’t try the Double Down. Definitely don’t have a Triple Baconator.

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