I came, I Saw, I was not impressed

I've watched a Saw movie every night before going to sleep for the last 3 days. Admittedly this isn't how most of you prepare for bed. I also frequently drink a Dr. Pepper before going to sleep so I'm an aberration. I've been doing this for 3 reasons.
1. It's Halloweek! I've watched a horror movie a day since my exam last Friday.
2. I'm on vacation. When better to watch bad movies?
3. Shawnee Smith.



Really I should've listed Shawnee 3 times since that's the most important reason. Though I should've realized that this isn't the best way for me to get my Shawnee fix.



My conclusion: these movies aren't very good. You're shocked, I'm sure. They're not scary. Movies can be scary in different ways. They can be creepy, startling, unsettling, or horrific. That's really the order in which I like them. But I wouldn't even describe these movies as horrific. They're just bloody. And due to a combination of my callous nature, real life experience with gore and overexposure to extreme situations in movies, the blood didn't bother me. I wasn't really grossed out, and certainly wasn't scared.

The first movie was a bit of a mystery, which was fun. The second movie had some good puzzle solving, much like a video game. The third movie didn't really add anything. And 4 and 5 won't have Shawnee so aren't worth my time. The plots jump from simplistic to convoluted, every tiny thing is explained three times, the victims are all too dumb and the villain is unreasonably prepared and/or lucky.

Conclusion: Shawnee Smith is hot and Saw isn't worth your time, even if you can stomach it.

Mini Review: Jacob's Ladder. Also not very scary. But a much better movie. Some good performances and sweet imagery. A much better choice for your Halloweek.

Up tomorrow: The Thing.