First and Last in Line

I saw Coraline on Friday, which is probably before most of you. Unless you were part of the team making it, in which case, congratulations, it was pretty good. I wouldn’t’ve seen it the first day, but Kid Sister wanted to, so we obliged her.

I don’t have much to say about the movie. It’s a kid’s movie, so don’t expect anything too complex. But it’s well done, it looks great, and the music was great. The cat’s voice drove me crazy until I realized it was Goliath from Gargoyles, and the Arbiter from Halo. The topless lady was a bit of a surprise, and certainly makes me hesitant to suggest everyone take your kids to this movie. But if I ever procreate, this will be one of the movies I’ll let my kids watch. But only once per month. My kids will only be allowed to watch a particular movie once a month. There’ll be a schedule on the wall.

I’m probably the last person in the world to see Slumdog Millionaire, excluding those of you too moral to watch R rated films. And if you’re not going to see it fine, but if you were thinking about it, there are only a couple violent acts and some thematic stuff, but I’d feel fine giving a copy to most anyone.

I liked everything about the movie. I liked the story, style, acting, even the Bollywood dance at the end. But I can’t say that I loved it. My co-watchers thought the movie was depressing, which wasn’t really my problem. I just didn’t get terribly involved in the story. I thought it was good the whole time, I just didn’t feel any tension. Which makes me doubt it’s the best movie of the year.

gluckschmerz

Killing me slowly

I’ve got a fast food problem. The problem is that it’s so perfectly designed for me.

I like my food fast. There’s a certain time I like to sit down and eat a leisurely meal: when I’m in Europe. When I’m not in Europe, I like to eat quickly. When I’m cooking I frequently eat as I cook instead of sitting down afterwards. When I’m preparing food I usually eat it standing up. When I’m buying food I like to eat it while doing something else. While Columbus is deathly cold I’ve been taking the tunnels to and from work, which brings me right past the hospital’s Wendys. It’s very hard for me not to spend a couple dollars, grab a sandwich and be done with dinner before I reach my house.

I love exotic food, but in the end my palette isn’t very refined. I’m about equally happy with a couple items of the dollar menu as with a thirty dollar dinner. I’ve never had a fifty or hundred dollar dinner, but I suspect my enjoyment wouldn’t increase that much. Variety and exoticism are great, but frugality usually beats them out.

So I eat fast food, and certainly more often than I should. But I don’t order value meals. A value meal really just screws you for the rest of the day. It has too many calories, costs too much and makes me fuller than I want to be. And how often do I eat fast food with another person? Rarely. And following the rules of Chris, meals eaten alone should cost 2 dollars or less. Accordingly, here are my 5 favorite fast food lunch/dinners.

1. Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger and Crispy Chicken Sandwich. This is the meal I get when that darn hospital Wendy’s pulls me in. These are definitely the 2 items to get. The Doublestack has an unfavorable grease to flavor ratio, and the chicken nuggets frequently cost more than a dollar. This is the best combo available.

2. Burger King Whopper Junior and Spicy Chicken Crisp. The quality isn’t quite as good as choice 1, but the whopper has more veggies and the chicken has more flavor. This combo is dangerous because I’m tempted to get the Hershey’s Chocolate Pie, which is delicious, but brings the meal up to a rarely acceptable 3.50.

3. McDonald’s 2 Apple Pies and 5 Piece Nugget (with Sweet and Sour sauce.) The important thing here is the apple pie, because they’re delicious. I did once order 8 apple pies, and proceeded to eat them over the next 3 days. I was studying for the Boards, sue me. This chicken nuggets aren’t nearly as good as Wendy’s version, but they have much more nostalgia.

4. Taco Bell Beef and Potato Burrito and Big Taste Taco. Sadly, my local Taco Bell no longer carries the Beef and Potato for 1.50, so this meal is defunct. I have yet to find a worthy replacement on the menu. The Big Taste taco is great and has replaced my old choice of Double Decker.

5. KFC Chicken Fried Steak Meal. This meal is a great deal for 2 dollars. However, I refuse to buy it when it’s 3 dollars. It’s exactly 2 dollars delicious.

I need to watch Supersize Me again, because it certainly didn’t do a good job deterring me the first time. Maybe I’ll watch it with some of my patient’s to try to pack on an extra layer of guilt. But really, now that I know a bunch of octogenarians, it doesn't really seem that great. Seems like 50 with apple pies is better than 80 without. But don't tell my patients that.

Coattails

I'm too tired to write an actual entry tonight (screw you 15 hour days w/ no lunch), but I've had a couple requests for the lyrics of The Ex-Girlfriend Choir. So here they are:

C: Lorretta broke it off in a letter, she told me she was leavin and her life would be better
Joan broke up with me over the phone, after the tone she left me alone.
Jenn said she'd never ever see me again, when I saw her again, she said it again.
Fran met another man.
Lisa got amnesia and forgot who I am.
Felicity said there was no electricity, Emily, no chemistry.
Jan ran, Beth left, Flo had to go I couldn't go with the flow.
C/P :Carol Brown just took a bus out of town...
C: But I'm hoping that you'll stick around.

Break

C: Kate Wallace, wants a guy that is flawless
I told her that I was, but she dumped me regardless
I thought, it was going well,
but then Michelle said go to Dayton.
Laura, looked at me and just said next
Kari didn’t call, she said no by text
Kristen, said I didn’t listen
Or something I’m not sure, I was watching The Simpsons.
Dorotty dumped me with authority
Candace, with malice
Neuenswanders, I tried all 3
The whole family wants not to be with me
C/P :Merideth Brown took Skybus out of town...
C: But I'm hoping that you'll stick around.

P: He cannot cook he is not good boyfriend material.
C: We can eat cereal.
P: He'll lose interest fast, his relationships never last.
C: Shut up girlfriends from the past.
P: He's irresponsible, he almost never does his hometeaching.
C: Mmmmmmm who organized these girls into a choir and asked them to sing?
P: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

C: Nikki, well Nikki kicked me
Dan turned out to be a man.
Kelsi, Chelsea, Brandy and Mandy, I’ve got a long list of girls that can’t stand me.
Summer lovin, had me a blast
Summer lovin, it was gone so fast
C/P: Annie Blam flew to Vietnam.


C: Love is a delicate thing, it could just float away on a breeze.
P: He said the same thing to me.
C: How will we ever know if we found the right person in this world?
P: He means he looks at other girls.
C: Love is a mystery it does not follow the rules.
P: This guy is a fool.
C: Shut up girlfriends from the past choir.
P: He's a tool.
C: Shut up girlfriends from the past choir.
P: He is just a boy he is a man who never grew up!
C: I thought I told you to shutup.
P: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

C: Sharaya, turned out to be a playa
I can't believe you betrayed me Dan!
Ooooooh who organized all these girls into a choir, was it you Merideth Brown, was it you Carol Brown?
C/P: Carol brown just took a bus out of town.
C: But I'm hoping that you'll stick around.


Also, here's the version of the song we heard here in Columbus:

Conchord Goodness

Ex-Girlfriend Choir

Here's what I did last weekend. I got uncharacteristically nervous so my vocals aren't very good, but oh well. Thanks to Pete, Kari, Kate, Bret and Jemaine for helping out.