Tears

I found this website: this website

It claims to analyze your writing and tell you what author you write like. Surely, you've wondered this. I submitted my most recent blog post and got the following result:

H.P. Lovecraft

I've never read any Lovecraft, but I don't really think of my blog as a horror blog. I'm not sure if horror blogs exist. If they don't, someone get on that.

So I decided to submit blog entries into the analyzer until I got the same result twice. The following is what it found:

1. H.P. Lovecraft
2. Robert Louis Stevenson (Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
3. William Gibson (Neuromancer)
4. Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)
5. Dan Brown (rubbish)
6. J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye)
7. David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest)
8. Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)
9. Dan Brown

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I couldn't have picked an author I wanted to emulate less. Unless you count hobo literature. But really, Dan Brown is pretty much hobo literature. I guess I would hate it more if I were compared to Rowling or Meyer or Paris Hilton.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you who I'd like to sound like. Douglas Adams maybe? Dave Barry? I was pretty happy with Palahniuk and Salinger, but otherwise the list was saddening. I guess I should give up writing. Unless I want to be wildly successful

This post, in case you're wondering: Cory Doctorow. Whoever that is.

Vote now. Who do you think I sound like? In person or print. If you say Dan Brown, I will stab you, through the internet.