Sunday, April 03, 2011

Public Service

I don’t actually like Chuck Norris. Despite the fact that I have seen Sidekicks on more than one occasion, Chuck is not going to get a spot on Man-Crush Island. Yes, Man-Crush Island is going to get a post in the near future. But it’s funny to pretend to like Chuck Norris. In a similar vein, I don’t actually like bacon all that much. Sure, generally speaking, a bacon cheeseburger is better than a cheeseburger. But I get offered bacon most every day at work, and I have accepted it 0/270 times. I don’t know if they offer bacon to everyone at the hospital, or if my build just indicates an enthusiasm for bacon.

Generally speaking, I don’t watch tv on tv. I watch it on my computer, or Netflix or in some means whereby I can bypass the commercials. But when I’m on call, I almost always choose channel surfing over being productive in between seeing patients. So I find myself channel surfing for the first time since high school. And during that channel surfing the other day I came across a commercial for Denny’s, and the Bacon Sundae.

Now, I don’t endorse Denny’s. Not that they’ve asked me to be a spokesperson or anything. But if they did, I wouldn’t. Which is a lie because of course I would. But generally speaking, I don’t support eating at Denny’s unless it is 3 AM, or you’re a missionary. Then it’s ok. The only good thing I can say about Denny’s is this viral video campaign has been fun so far:

AND, that they’re brave enough to have a Bacon Sundae. And I am just the person to try that Bacon Sundae, so you don’t have to suffer through it.

When we ordered the sundae, the waitress gave us a withering glare of disgust and revulsion. Hello lady, you work at Denny’s. You are partially responsible for the creation of the Bacon Sundae, so don’t glare at me for getting one. Though admittedly, Ms Possible was also glaring at me a little bit for ordering it, and if I had a mirror I may have been glaring at myself for punishing myself in this fashion. But soon enough, the sundae arrived.

It was pretty plain as far as a sundae goes. It only had 3 ingredients, which I think is the minimum for a sundae. Vanilla ice cream, maple syrup and bacon. So, in case you’re too embarrassed to be seen in a Denny’s, you could easily make one at home.

The review: not bad. I can’t say that I’d ever order one again, but it tasted pretty good. I like maple syrup, and it does a reasonable approximation of chocolate syrup, but it’s not quite as good. It makes all the ice cream taste like pralines and cream. Occasionally you’d hit a rich vein of syrup and that bite would be overpowering. But it was generally pleasant. The bacon wasn’t terribly noteworthy. I think if it had been chewy bacon it would have been gross. But the crisp bacon was less enjoyable than sprinkles, but more enjoyable than frozen gummy bears. So all in all, neither amazingly terrible nor terribly amazing. If you can handle the more outlandish Ben and Jerry’s or Jeni’s flavors, you can most definitely handle, and enjoy, the Bacon Sundae.

The waitress who had previously stinkeyed us later said we were the first people to order the sundae at their Denny’s. I question her authority; I don’t imagine she gets the weekly spreadsheet of who has ordered what. But at our lukewarm endorsement she made herself a little Bacon Sundae platter and actually became a raving fan. It was kind of a Green Eggs and Ham moment, and I considered not leaving a tip since I had already shifted her world paradigm. But then I thought that I might be hungry at 3 AM one of these nights and have to face her again, so I left the customary gratuity.

The Bacon Sundae: edible, enjoyable, slightly embarrassing.

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