Prepare to hate me

Clockbusters is addictive.

My score is 48. If you get all 50, I need your help figuring the last couple out.

In other news, I'm leaving for Thailand tomorrow. I had planned on pre-writing a couple weeks of posts for you, but they're still in my head. And my computer's telepathy is lacking, which is disappointing since it's a Mac and I thought they could do everything.

There's some chance that I'll post in Thailand, but more likely you're just going to have to wait. In the mean time though:

Check out my blog archives
Check out my China blog archives
Check out my youtube channel
Go outside

Performance Art

So the variety show is coming up. Except it isn't a variety show, it's Star Search, which I feel focuses more on talent than variety. And whereas ChrEte had a small, but loyal fan following, here I don't have that same cult of personality. So I'm not sure if I'm going to put anything together.

But if I did, I was thinking of retooling one of these songs:

Buffy



Hugh



NPH



Or I could start a new Flight of the Conchords tribute band. I've always wanted to try my hand at Hip-Hopapotamus.



I'm not sure yet. But your opinion matters. You should vote for:

1. Buffy, Hugh or NPH
2. Which Conchords song I should do
3. Something else entirely
4. That I should retire from the dog-eat-dog world of the variety show circuit.

2006
2007
2008
2009
2009 pt 2

Matchy Matchy

In 500 Days of Summer, JGL’s love for Zooey really stems from 2 things: she’s cute, and she likes The Smiths. One of the reasons I like this movie so much, and sometimes get frustrated watching it, is that I relate. If a girl is cute, and has good taste, I’m done for.

In a perfect world, I’d see a cute girl wearing an AD shirt sipping on some bubble tea at a Radiohead concert and boom, match made, the deal is done. Maybe I’d ask her opinion about her favorite Wes Anderson movie or make sure she hasn’t seen Cats, but generally speaking, I’d consider us compatible.

Unfortunately, loving the same music, movies, books and/or food doesn’t mean we’d love each other. It’s a hard thing for me to face because liking all the same entertainment would be such a fantastically convenient quality in a spouse, and I love convenience almost as much as I love Radiohead. And I love my media, and sharing it with others, so being with someone that didn’t like what I like, well, that’s a hard pill to swallow. But, sadly, media preference is a shallow criteria for a relationship. What if Radiohead breaks up? What then?

I was out with a ladyfriend the other night and we ended up doing dinner and a movie. Cliché, I know, but if there is a pair of activities I like better than eating and watching movies, I don’t know what it is. Or I do, but it’s not an option. In any case, the movie bit was fairly impromptu, so we hadn’t chosen something ahead of time. So we show up at the theater and perused our movie options. Incidentally, yes, I have made fun of people before who just go to the theater, hoping to find something that tickles their fancy. Do your research people! As previously stated, this was impromptu.

Because I was not on a date with the female version of myself, Paul and Sucker Punch were out. And because she wasn’t on a date with the male version of herself, Hop and Soul Surfer were out. I’d mentally prepared myself for Source Code as a compromise film, but surprisingly she suggested Hanna. To be honest, I don’t think she knew anything about Hanna, and maybe thought it was a sister film to Pollyanna and Annie. So I should have explained “little girl assassin techno soundtrack.” But I’m a bad person, so I took advantage of her selection and we watched it.

Turns out, we both liked it quite a bit. While I can’t say it’s a great movie, I can say it’s an interesting one. And I’m not saying interesting patronizingly, as if to spare the film’s feelings. It was actually a pretty interesting movie. And while I might not have drawn the comparison if they weren’t by the same director, but it was a very similar movie to Atonement. The only thing I remember from Atonement are the visuals (and I’m including Keira Knightley under the category of visuals) and the music. I found the plot pretty secondary. The plot in Hanna is pretty secondary as well, but the visuals and music were great. The film looked beautiful, was frequently funny, featured competent to good acting, had some great action and some nice structural symmetry. It’s hard to ask for much more. A worthwhile story and better editing would have pushed it into greatness.

So it was a happy ending. Not necessarily in Hanna, but for the evening. Two sets of fairly disparate interests, overlapping. I would love for the circles in our venn diagram to completely overlap, but this will likely never be the case. Because my circle is not a circle, but a somewhat cynical octopus of far-flung eccentricities, never to be replicated. It’s a fingerprint, as is everyone’s. And our fingerprints will never match up. But even though fingerprints are never identical, hands can be held.

Quote of the week

"I think we're all on the same team here, and that's the no pie and no sledgehammer team."

I don't know why that's so funny, but trust me, it is.

And the number of funny people in this video (though admittedly, not doing anything terribly funny) is startling. I'm startled.

Also my sister emailed me a leaked Beastie Boys single today. If you scour with the internet with any type of proficiency, you can find it. But don't tell them I sent you. Also she had a typo in her email of Beatsie Boys, which is such an obviously great name for a Beastie Boys cover band, that I certainly hope it exists.



I know, I've been posting a lot of videos lately. But tomorrow, or maybe later today, or at the latest Saturday, you'll get something better than posted videos. That's right, statistics!

Good, Bad, Ugly, Empty

Somehow wedged between watching Conference and a game of Mafia (most Mormon morning ever? Quite possibly) we ended up watching Colbert and Fallon doing their version of Friday. Turns out some people hadn’t seen Friday, so then we had to contribute to the 80 million views of the video by watching it.



Friday is old news on the meme circuit, but for what it’s worth, I think it’s kind of a remarkable song. It’s just so empty. It’s not bad per se, there’s just nothing there. Yes, the lyrics are ridiculous; you shouldn’t write a song about choosing between sitting in the front seat or back seat. But all things considered, they’re not that much more ridiculous than most pop. The major difference is this is just some girl who’s parents have bought her a music video: ie, she has zero stage presence. Keisha is annoying and talentless, but she has some modicum of stage presence. The lyrics of Friday are only a bit worse than Party in the USA, but the presentation is just nonexistent.

I bring up Party in the USA, because it was cowritten by Jessie J. I really wanted to like Jessie J. She’s attractive, British, and she writes her own songs. But it turns out the songs aren’t very good. I do find this video kind of fun, but the best part of the entire song is her spiky lips. And if your makeup is the best part of a song, that’s a problem.



But if you shouldn’t listen to Rebecca Black, Miley or Jessie J, what else is there to listen to?

1. The Go! Team

The Go! Team provide you with a awesome retro wall of sound. Need some workout music? Just try not to accelerate to this.



2. The Civil Wars

I think with the popularity of Mumford, we're going to be getting some more of these ube-retro bands. Which is a good thing provided they're this good. Sorry Decemberists, you don't get your own genre anymore.



3. Oh Land

Points for being Danish. Points for being the lovechild of Splashdown, Lady Gaga and Bjork. Points for being awesome. This whole album is great, and I couldn't decide which song to post, so here are a couple.

Public Service

I don’t actually like Chuck Norris. Despite the fact that I have seen Sidekicks on more than one occasion, Chuck is not going to get a spot on Man-Crush Island. Yes, Man-Crush Island is going to get a post in the near future. But it’s funny to pretend to like Chuck Norris. In a similar vein, I don’t actually like bacon all that much. Sure, generally speaking, a bacon cheeseburger is better than a cheeseburger. But I get offered bacon most every day at work, and I have accepted it 0/270 times. I don’t know if they offer bacon to everyone at the hospital, or if my build just indicates an enthusiasm for bacon.

Generally speaking, I don’t watch tv on tv. I watch it on my computer, or Netflix or in some means whereby I can bypass the commercials. But when I’m on call, I almost always choose channel surfing over being productive in between seeing patients. So I find myself channel surfing for the first time since high school. And during that channel surfing the other day I came across a commercial for Denny’s, and the Bacon Sundae.

Now, I don’t endorse Denny’s. Not that they’ve asked me to be a spokesperson or anything. But if they did, I wouldn’t. Which is a lie because of course I would. But generally speaking, I don’t support eating at Denny’s unless it is 3 AM, or you’re a missionary. Then it’s ok. The only good thing I can say about Denny’s is this viral video campaign has been fun so far:



AND, that they’re brave enough to have a Bacon Sundae. And I am just the person to try that Bacon Sundae, so you don’t have to suffer through it.

When we ordered the sundae, the waitress gave us a withering glare of disgust and revulsion. Hello lady, you work at Denny’s. You are partially responsible for the creation of the Bacon Sundae, so don’t glare at me for getting one. Though admittedly, Ms Possible was also glaring at me a little bit for ordering it, and if I had a mirror I may have been glaring at myself for punishing myself in this fashion. But soon enough, the sundae arrived.



It was pretty plain as far as a sundae goes. It only had 3 ingredients, which I think is the minimum for a sundae. Vanilla ice cream, maple syrup and bacon. So, in case you’re too embarrassed to be seen in a Denny’s, you could easily make one at home.

The review: not bad. I can’t say that I’d ever order one again, but it tasted pretty good. I like maple syrup, and it does a reasonable approximation of chocolate syrup, but it’s not quite as good. It makes all the ice cream taste like pralines and cream. Occasionally you’d hit a rich vein of syrup and that bite would be overpowering. But it was generally pleasant. The bacon wasn’t terribly noteworthy. I think if it had been chewy bacon it would have been gross. But the crisp bacon was less enjoyable than sprinkles, but more enjoyable than frozen gummy bears. So all in all, neither amazingly terrible nor terribly amazing. If you can handle the more outlandish Ben and Jerry’s or Jeni’s flavors, you can most definitely handle, and enjoy, the Bacon Sundae.

The waitress who had previously stinkeyed us later said we were the first people to order the sundae at their Denny’s. I question her authority; I don’t imagine she gets the weekly spreadsheet of who has ordered what. But at our lukewarm endorsement she made herself a little Bacon Sundae platter and actually became a raving fan. It was kind of a Green Eggs and Ham moment, and I considered not leaving a tip since I had already shifted her world paradigm. But then I thought that I might be hungry at 3 AM one of these nights and have to face her again, so I left the customary gratuity.

The Bacon Sundae: edible, enjoyable, slightly embarrassing.