Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tears

I found this website: this website

It claims to analyze your writing and tell you what author you write like. Surely, you've wondered this. I submitted my most recent blog post and got the following result:

H.P. Lovecraft

I've never read any Lovecraft, but I don't really think of my blog as a horror blog. I'm not sure if horror blogs exist. If they don't, someone get on that.

So I decided to submit blog entries into the analyzer until I got the same result twice. The following is what it found:

1. H.P. Lovecraft
2. Robert Louis Stevenson (Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
3. William Gibson (Neuromancer)
4. Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)
5. Dan Brown (rubbish)
6. J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye)
7. David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest)
8. Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)
9. Dan Brown

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I couldn't have picked an author I wanted to emulate less. Unless you count hobo literature. But really, Dan Brown is pretty much hobo literature. I guess I would hate it more if I were compared to Rowling or Meyer or Paris Hilton.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you who I'd like to sound like. Douglas Adams maybe? Dave Barry? I was pretty happy with Palahniuk and Salinger, but otherwise the list was saddening. I guess I should give up writing. Unless I want to be wildly successful

This post, in case you're wondering: Cory Doctorow. Whoever that is.

Vote now. Who do you think I sound like? In person or print. If you say Dan Brown, I will stab you, through the internet.

7 comments:

Amy-Alisa said...

Would it kill you if I told you that I also got Cory Doctorow. I was thinking maybe it was nice, fluffy, happy kind of material, but looking him up on wikipedia has left me confused.
But hey, he's Canadian...

Catherine said...

Read Little Brother by Cory Doctorow, then you won't be sad to sound like him.

Meg said...

My first result almost made me cry (in a horrible, almost makes me want to stop writing way). The rest were much better. Even the Dan Brown.

Eric said...

I see Meg is too embarrassed to admit that she writes like Stephanie Meyer.

esodhiambo said...

James Joyce. IN YOUR FACE.

BTW--I submitted one post that was a list--no punctuation and incomplete clauses and whatnot--and got Cory Doctorow. I still don't know who he is, but maybe not a prose writer?

anna. said...

salinger salinger salinger. i like writing like someone i like.

Lindsay Anne said...

From my blog: Margaret Atwood, Cory Doctorow.

From my writing pieces: Raymond Chandler, James Joyce, Margaret Atwood.

Meg at least you can become a multimillionaire writing like Meyers.