To start off, that title really isn't accurate. The most expensive date that never happened would probably be something like Bill Gates funding a time machine project, traveling back in time and asking out Mary Antoinette by buying the moon for way over its bluebook value. But this is the most expensive date that never happened to me.
A problem with being hip deep in Mormons is that if you meet a pretty young thing (side note, that means a girl. Additional side note, what a creepy title for a song by Michael Jackson) you may never see her again. She can vanish back into the masses of Mormons, never to be seen again. Which just screws my mojo right up. Because I'm an acquired taste. I'm pretty sure that no one has ever liked me right from the start. So I need a while for people to figure out that I’m not actually a boring weirdo, but an interesting one, and one that they should flirt with. But sadly, I no longer have that opportunity. If you don’t make the connection right off, it could be months/years/never before you have a chance to try again.
So I was talking to a PYT at a party, and the conversation turned to Jackie Chan, one of my many areas of expertise. Turns out that she had never seen Jackie Chan until The Karate Kid. What a tragedy for that to be her first exposure, not Supercop or Drunken Master or another such masterpiece. So in the very least I thought she should see Rush Hour, so she can see that the man has moves. We exchanged numbers, arranged the time and place and all was well with the world.
Except for the fact that I didn’t have a television. Or more accurately, there was one in my apartment that was old enough that it couldn’t connect to a DVD player, let alone a BluRay. So I needed a new television.
My television purchasing adventure is really not terribly interesting, so I’ll jump to the point where I spend $550 on a television so I can watch Rush Hour with a girl I barely know. I would like to throw in that I got an amazing deal on the tv (originally 1400) because, if any eligible PYTs are reading this they might be attracted to my extreme shopping skills. But the point remains that I had intended to buy a television in November, but was “forced” to move that timeline up. So here I am, ready with my sweet television, some sweet snacks and a sweet Hong Kong kung fu legend.
And she cancels on me.
I think she may have heard I didn’t buy the $1550 tv. Which is just a little too high maintenance for me.