I decided on May 1st that I wouldn’t eat any fast food this month. I’m learning about acupuncture and herbal medicine and whatnot at school and figured I’d go all natural for a month to go full on hippie. On May 2nd I had a Frosty. It’s really not my fault. I have to pass a Wendy’s on the way home from the gym, and I’m hot and sweaty and just lost a bunch of calories. Anyway, my fast food fast didn’t work. But realistically, how was I going to live in my car for 4 days without eating fast food? Impossible I say. Here were my top Food Tourism experiences while in Arizona.
1. Jamba Juice – Hurray for the one and only true smoothie shop. It’s been 4 years, but now you’re back in my life.
2. Café Rio – another 4 year absence. Who knew that there was a Café Rio in Mesa? But there is, and Provo has officially become more useless.
3. Mini-churros – insanely addictive 100% artificial confections from Jack in the Box. 5 for a dollar! You can also get 10, but I think you’d die.
4. Jack in the Box in general – I shouldn’t have a favorite fast food place. But I think Jack in the Box is now my favorite fast food place.
5. Strawberry Dr. Pepper – Since Diet Dr. Pepper is much more common in Arizona, I got the opportunity to play with it at soda fountains. Strawberry DDP is so much better than cherry DDP.
6. 10 cent apple pie – Government, get off your lazy butt and do something about the greatest social injustice in our society: expensive food at airports. McDonalds apple pies cost 90 cents instead of 50. But you can get 2 for a dollar, so the second one costs 10 cents. The second one was much more delicious.
7. Wendy’s breakfast – honestly I don’t even remember what I had, but it’s just a rarity for me to have breakfast at Wendys. And I think I had yogurt as my side, which was refreshing.
I heard this on my satellite radio: A man goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he can add 2 years to his life if he just cuts out donuts. "So let me get this straight doc. With my plan I eat donuts until I die. With your plan I have to live 2 years longer without donuts. And you're a doctor?"
Not exactly hilarious, but it makes me feel better after those mini-churros.