Chris Grammys

I’m not going to bother talking about the relative merits of the Grammys or who should have been nominated but wasn’t. But here’s a quick run of some things I liked and disliked. And in case you were wondering I didn’t watch. There’s a fairly good chance that I’ll never watch another award show in my life.

Best Record – Rehab I approve. Irreplaceable and Umbrella are very catchy tunes, but I much prefer this track.

Best Album – Herbie Hancock No good. Or more accurately, I did really like Back to Black so would have liked it to win.

Best Song – Rehab I generally think it’s silly that Record and Song are separate categories. I realize that they technically mean different things and are awarded to different people, but it still seems redundant. So I’m happy Rehab won this as well. Before He Cheats is another catchy ditty, as is Umbrella again. I’m glad Hey There Delilah didn’t because it’s a whiny piece of rubbish. That statement was brought on by overplaying, not actual quality of the song.

New Artist – Amy Winehouse I support this as well. I don’t really like anyone sweeping, but she’s the best of our choices here. Feist is a close second, but she’s not really that new. I see no reason why Paramore was nominated.

Female vocal performance – Amy Winehouse I probably would have given this one to Feist since Amy shouldn’t win everything. Or possibly Christina Aguilera for her sexy outfits in Candyman. That counts as part of the performance.

Best male performance – all bad choices.

Best group performance – Maroon 5 won, which saddens me. I hate them. But none of the other choices were good either.

Pop collaboration – Alison Krauss and Robert Plant I generally support this. Not my cup of tea, but I think they did well.

Pop Instrumental – Joni Mitchell. No good. Give it to Ben Harper.

Pop Instrumental album – Beastie Boys Of course. They had no competition.

Pop Vocal album – Back to Black Again, I would have given some of Amy’s awards to Feist.

Best Dance recording – Justin Timberlake I hate Justin, so I’m biased. But I would have given this to every other nominee before him. Chemical Brothers first, Mika second, Justice third and Rihanna fourth. Justin dead last.

Electronic/Dance album – We Are the Night A good album by the Chemical Brothers. I support them winning, but probably would have given it to LCD Soundsystem myself.

Best Solo Rock – Bruce Springsteen I would have given it to Beck instead. He’s not really that rocking, but he’s so much cooler than Bruce.

Rock group performance – Icky Thump Great. I love the White Stripes.

Hard Rock – Foo Fighters I don’t consider them hard rock. I would’ve given it to Ozzy since I actually liked a fair amount of his latest record.

Rock Album – Foo Fighers I don’t like the Foo Fighters, so I would have given it to Wilco. They’re pretty quality.

Alternative album – Icky Thump I’m very torn. I loved Icky Thump, but I loved Lily Allen’s debut more. Arcade Fire also had a good album. But in the end, Lily wins.

And as for the other hundred categories:

Int’l Players Anthem is better than Southside in Best Rap

Umbrella was a mighty fine collaboration. Kudos for winning.

Congratulations to Steve Earle for winning best Contemporary Folk.

Who knew Meryl Streep made a children’s album about Shrek?

Once should have won for best soundtrack in a film instead of Love.

Pan’s Labyrinth or the Departed should have won for best score over Ratatouille.

Congratulations to Mark Ronson as the Producer of the Year. He deserved it.

The Flaming Lips should have won for best surround sound album. I haven’t listened to it with surround sound, but I’m sure it would be fantastic. Stupid Love and their Beatles music won.

D.A.N.C.E. should have won for best music video, not Johnny Cash. How’d that even happen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo_QVq2lGMs

And most importantly, congratulations to Flight of the Conchords for their win in the best comedy album category. And thank goodness George Lopez lost.