Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Pop Romance 2.0

Stop, collaborate and listen, Chris is back with a brand new poem

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. [scratches] Chris
Hello, I love you won’t you tell me your name?

The real me is a Southern girl With her Levi's on and an open heart

Breaking my back just to know your name

I am a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world I’m made of plastic. It’s fantastic

So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with mebecause you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me

Well she's got a hotty body, but her attitude is potty

I bet you want the goodies.Bet you thought about it.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie You other brothers can’t deny When a girl walks in with a little bitty waist And a round thing in your face . . .

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours,

What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on sugar let me know.

That don't impress me much So you got the looks but have you got the touch

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for my hat Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

All I want to do is have some fun
I have a feeling that I’m not the only one

Girls. All I really want is girls.
In the morning it’s girls
Cause in the evening it’s girls.

Girls don’t like boys,
Girls like cars and money.

I believe in a thing called loveJust listen to the rhythm of my heart

If you wanna be with meBaby there's a price to payI'm a genie in a bottle

Just the two of us we can make it if we try

Im talkin' boutL,O,L,O,L,O,L.O.V.EL,O,L,O,L,O

I need your arms around me, I need to feel your touchI need your understanding, I need your love so much

Can you feel the love tonight?

Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me.

Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret

A few times I've been around that trackSo it's not just gonna happen like thatBecause I ain't no hollaback girl


Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa.. (Don't want to meet your daddy, OHH OH)Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (Just want you in my Caddy OHH OH)

I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes,
I saw the sign,

This love has taken its toll on meShe said Goodbye too many times before

get out (leave) right now it’s the end of you and me

If you want to destroy my sweaterHold this thread as I walk away

My loneliness is killing me I must confess I still believe When I'm not with you I lose my mind Give me a sign Hit me baby one more time

I wanna push you around, I will, I will I wanna push you down

I get knocked down, but I get up again Ya ain’t never gonna keep me down

Quit playin' games with my heart Before you tear us apart

Chill out
What you yellin for?
Lay back
It's all been done before

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heartI just don't think it'd understand

Oops!...I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel Closer than my peeps you are to me

Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts

Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?

It's been one week since you looked at meCocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"

Do you believe in life after love?

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever, friendship never ends.

Lovin is what I got,
I say remember that.

I would have given you all of my heart but there's someone who's torn it apart

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for

I've been a bad bad girl I've been careless with a delicate man

Dreams last so long, even after you’re gone I know, that you love me and soon you will see You were meant for me and I was meant for you

Kiss me out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass Swing, swing, swing the spinning step You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

This kiss, this kiss

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

Yes.

You’re all I ever wantedYou’re all I ever needed

And I E, I, Will Always Love You (in unison)

Hideous Reposting

Sorry to repost, but I really want to beat the number of posts over at Mandarin Ranteumptom.  If you didn’t care about this poem the first time you won’t now, but the meter is better now.  Plus there’s more nonsense words, and who doesn’t like those?

Jabberwocky 2: The Bandersnatch Strikes Back

Twas usken in the tulgey wood,
All slithy toves had mit away.
Outgrabery ceased, as it should
When muskly blanes to grey.

The Bandersnatch, that fruminous treep,
Apripped his way from tree to stalk
And came upon the vorpalled heap:
The now-slain Jabberwock.

His ruptous roar did rip the air,
And with his maw turned widdershins
He sniffed the brush and he did rush
Through Vars and Cindergrins.

His tangral eyes did mence and glame,
Distling rain sluck his mizzly skin.
Mome raths tremed and fled as he came,
To rectivenge his kin.

He found the lad, that vicious gad
So lately a capitious thief,
His claw raised high, he krayed a cry
And trunched the boy beneath.

And with the Jabberwock avenged,
He turned without a eul or word.
The fiend he slew, and back into
The bambish night he slurred.

Twas usken in the tulgey wood,
All slithy toves had mit away.
Outgrabery ceased, as it should
When muskly blanes to grey.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Weekend Update

I had doing recaps of weeks, but there were several interesting events that I never got around to reporting on individually, and seem to deserve at least a mention.

I had two presentations last week.  The first was a 20 minute one on irony, which was probably more interesting researching than presenting.  I didn’t realize how often we call something ironic, when literarily it is no such thing.  For instance, there is only one instance of irony in the song Ironic by Alanis Morisette.  Who knew?  I was rather proud of myself for being the first presenter in our class to figure out how to use the AV equipment to supplement my presentation.  Those silly English majors can’t figure anything out.  So a couple songs and video clips allowed me to easily fill the time.  I also led part of a presentation on stem cell research for Neurobio on Friday, which was also quite informative.  But by far the most amusing part of the class was when a girl started going off on what she’s heard the church handbook says about abortion and it not being the equivalent of murder.  We made sure to jump back to the nature of pluripotent stem cells purdy darn quick.

Academically that’s all that’s been going on.  I got the only perfect score for my Bandersnatch poem, which I ended up altering to make it fit the Carrol’s meter more accurately.  In other poetry news I performed a poetry recitation at our ward talent show on Friday.  I did about five minutes of standup type material before doing a poem with a volunteer from the audience.  It was based on the Pop Romance poem from couple years back, but updated to more current songs.  I think I can safely say it was the funniest act of the night, with an Oompa Loompa dance and DDR presentation coming in close second.  There were of course the obligatory talented people at the talent show (singing, dancing, instruments etc) but these were less interesting to me than the novelty acts.  

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Twalk Amongst Yourselves

So I’m feeling tremendously nerdy that this is my 4th post in 12 hours.  But I thought I’d better get this up ASAP.

My next article assignment is due in a week, and I need some help.  What are ways to get rid of stress during finals week?  Schooled has given up on me being factual in my articles (I’d much rather be a humorist than a journalist) so your suggestions are going to constitute my research.  Let me know.

Song of this portion of the day: “Bury my Lovely” October Project

Chicken Soup for the Autistic Soul

Here’s a sappy feel good story.  Not exactly my specialty, but I liked this one.  It takes place in Rochester and involves neural disorders, so it has that going for it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UBYPaNc57Ik&search=autism%20basketball