Sunday, December 04, 2011

Sleepy Carl is too clever for me

Blanket non-blogging apology. With that out of the way, and speaking of blankets:


I love sleep. If you're someone who doesn't, I'm sorry for you. I also don't really understand where you're coming from. I guess you like being awake, which is fine and all, but just isn't my thing.

Mike Birbiglia has a bit about Sleepy Carl, which goes something approximately (exactly) like this:

I actually haven't remembered my dreams with any frequency since my mission (the last time I got as much sleep as I was supposed to), so Sleepy Carl has to be more devious with me. He doesn't tempt me with dreams, but he makes up reasons why it's a bad idea for me to get out of bed.

Most often he says I'm sleep deprived, which is true. The trickiest tricksters throw those truths out there to snag you. But in my early morning thinking I should always go back to sleep, because some time in the next few days I'm going to have to be on call and could potentially be awake for 30 hours. Stockpiling sleep has no physiological evidence, but Sleepy Carl doesn't rely on evidence based research for his arguments.

Even though I live in Arizona, the hottest state in the union (maybe, I have no proof of that) Sleepy Carl always convinces me it's cold outside. So of course it makes sense to stay under my covers for as long as possible. I have been entirely convinced that it's freezing outside of my bed, only to step outside into 90 degree weather. Now currently my heat isn't working and it is actually 50 degrees outside of my bed at night, and unfortunately Carl is able to keep this memory in my head all year long.

Sleepy Carl sometimes convinces me that I have a headache, and the best way to deal with a headache is to not be conscious. It's relatively rare for me to actually have a headache in the morning, but I can't reliably tell if my headache is in my mind, or just in my head, until I'm in the car on the way to work. Only then will Carl give up and admit that my head hasn't been aching all morning, it's just been a ploy to keep me asleep.

I'm sure Sleepy Carl has other tricks up sleeve, but for now I'm on to him.

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