Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Murphy's Roadtrip

Everything that could go wrong in this trip did go wrong. But since I realized this from early on, it didn’t really bother me.

1. As soon as I wanted to load my trailer with my prized personal possessions, it started pooring.
2. As soon as I wanted to start packing my prized possessions into little boxes, the power went out. For 8 hours.
3. I got on the road 6 hours behind schedule.
4. I soon discovered that I was able to roll down my windows, but not roll them up again. Consequently I drove on the highway with my windows down for a couple hours, and may have damaged my hearing.
5. I called Dave One, and together we diagnosed my problem: my trailer had blown a fuse. I felt quite successful finding the fuse box, changing fuses and rolling up my windows. I felt less successful when ten minutes later my turn signals stopped working.
6. After 3 stops at different Uhaul locations along I-70, I finally got my wiring fixed. They had installed it incorrectly. Now I could use my trailer, my windows, and my turn signals.
7. Then my cruise control stopped working. I was tired of stopping to get things fixed, so I went the rest of the 1850 miles without cruise control.
8. I thought my AC wasn’t working, but eventually realized that it was, I just had a fever. Somehow my dust allergy which had been acting up from cleaning my dusty house had metamorphosed into a viral infection. Yep, that’s how it works. I spent the next 48 hours with the nondescript flu symptoms (headache, tired, achey, runny nose, sore throat.) I usually just sleep off being sick, but that wasn’t really an option, so I experimented with cold medications. Turns out Contac and phenol throat spray worked pretty well. The best part was when I was trying to sleep and had a fever dream and started panicking that I had no insurance so couldn’t go to the hospital.
9. Apart from some early mornings, the temperature stayed above 90 for the entire trip. Combined with fever, this was awesome.
10. I came across a Burger King with a “Country Pork Sandwich” but I’d ALREADY HAD LUNCH! Curses.
11. I was traveling along a 75 mph road at 70 mph. The nice thing about carrying a trailer is that I always felt like I was speeding, but because of the extra weight I never was. But unfortunately the speed limit dropped to 35 pretty dramatically. Since I didn’t drop my speed dramatically enough, the police officer watching me decided to pull me over. Thankfully he was from Ohio so didn’t want to give me a ticket.
12. It was the weekend so all the cheap hotel rates I’d found online weren’t valid.
13. My desk disintegrated under the weight of my prized possessions. Evidently it was a desk not designed to hold anything.
14. I didn’t find any supermodel hitchhikers.

Car trouble, legal trouble, sickness, weather, poor timing, no supermodels. Flying would have been a good option.

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