No, I'm not talking about Bishop or MechaGodzilla, Johnny 5 or Data. I'm not talking about Deckard, Bubo, T-1000 or the Techno Trousers. I'm not talking about the Iron Giant, the Fembots, the Go-bots, Bender, Rosie, Marvin, Starscream, Kitt, the Cylons, the Mousers, Small Wonder, Tom Servo, HAL, Ultron, Red Tornado, the Sentinels or the Spider Slayers. I like all those robots.
(To discover your nerd score, take the number of those you recognize and divide by 25. If you feel prompted to insist I add another robot to the list, multiply by 10.)
No, the kind of robots I don't like are people. People that are completely predictable. You give them a prompt, such as "Let's go bowling" or "I love Bon Jovi" and you know with 100% certainty what they're going to say or do. It's lame.
Which is not to say the person is lame. I have a great many friends who are like this. And to a certain extent we all do this. You have thoughts and feelings and opinions (which really seems to be just a combined thought and feeling) so people that know you well can predict what you'll say.
Just try to mix it up. Yes, maybe you have a clever tidbit you like to whip out every time someone mentions William Howard Taft. Learn another one. Figure out other things you can say. Maybe you hate the word subtle (I know I do. What's that B doing in there?) You don't need to let everyone know you hate the word subtle every time it is used.
Don't be a robot. Be a person; full of inconsistency, unpredictability and nuance. And most importantly, let me know when I'm acting like a robot.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Forget You [NSFW]
Opinion 1: Last week’s episode of Glee was the Worst . . . Episode . . . Ever. Which is not to say it was a horrible way to spend an hour; it was just a poor showing of a good show. The comedy was flat to nonexistent, the musical numbers were dull, the plot uber-contrived. Come on, the big football player who picks on gays turns out to be gay? Shocker. But next week’s episode looks more promising.
Gwyneth on Glee
Question 1: Who hates Gwyneth? This article seems to indicate that people hate her. I’m someone who will readily and without reason dislike people, and I have never had a negative feeling towards her. I’m not a big fan either. The only movies where I specifically liked her were The Royal Tenenbaums and the Iron Men. Otherwise I’ve found her performances pretty neutral. But evidently other people disagree. It could be that I kind of like uppity ice queens. Or it could be that her negatives (Apple?) balance out with her positives (Simon Pegg is Apple’s godfather!) In any case, I have no strong feelings about her.
Fact 1: I don’t swear. There are any number of crude words I will say, but I have lines I have drawn. Though to disclose fully, I suspect I may need to abandon those lines. So far I haven’t needed to repeat a patient’s profanity in the course of an interview or affidavit, but it does seem like it is only a matter of time. But my point is I don't condone swearing.
Declaration 1: I like a lot of music which happens to contain cursing. Forget You, whether performed by Gwyneth or Cee Lo is just not the same as F*** You. F*** You is a great song. The cursing is the exclamation point at the end of each phrase. So I’ve included below ten songs that I love that are reliant on their profanity. Some are expletive heavy, others just have a swear or two to add some spice. I’ve generally avoided rap and hard rock, as the swearing there is pretty commonplace. Seriously though, don't click on the links unless you want an ear-full. And the songs are catchy, so it might stay there.
List 1: The time of the week when I rank things: Songs With Which I Can’t Sing Along
1. Good Intentions – Tito and Swan
A bizarre confluence of blasphemy, profanity, intoxication and debauchery. It makes it all sound so playful and innocent. Sure to offend most anybody.
2. Toxic – Mark Ronson
ODB is on the track. Ergo, it can't be played in polite company.
3. When You Wasn’t Famous – The Streets
Most any Streets track could be included. I love these guys. Strangely enough I couldn't find an uncensored version of this song.
4. I Can’t Decide – Scissor Sisters
Another track that throws around the F bomb with zero spite or malice, just a smile.
5. F******* Boyfriend – The Bird and the Bee
This is one of many tracks that would have been included in past ChrisMixes, if not for its lyrics. Consequently, ChrisMix usually gets skewed a bit nicer, older and girlier than the actual tracks I hear over the course of the year.
6. Mother****** – Xzibit
Generally I avoided rap music as it is famously profane, so not much of a challenge to include on a list of songs with swearing. But I really like the way this song sounds, even though I can't agree with any of the content.
7. B***** Mother******* ***hole – Martha Wainwright
My third favorite Wainwright. Well, maybe second favorite. But she pulls no punches on this one. She's singing about my third favorite Wainwright.
8. Stack-O-Lee – Samuel L Jackson
This was an underrated movie. This is a great song. Mr. Jackson is a king of cursing.
9. The Dirty Glass – Dropkick Murphys
I think there's only one curse in this one. But it's hard to miss.
10. Don’t Marry Her – The Beautiful South
The contrast between sex and love is so eloquently pointed out using the most famous of curses.
Honorable Mentions
Song of the Dumped – Ben Folds Five
B****– Merideth Brooks
Any one of dozens of Beastie Boys tracks, and most every Eminem track.
Bonus 1:
Gwyneth on Glee
Question 1: Who hates Gwyneth? This article seems to indicate that people hate her. I’m someone who will readily and without reason dislike people, and I have never had a negative feeling towards her. I’m not a big fan either. The only movies where I specifically liked her were The Royal Tenenbaums and the Iron Men. Otherwise I’ve found her performances pretty neutral. But evidently other people disagree. It could be that I kind of like uppity ice queens. Or it could be that her negatives (Apple?) balance out with her positives (Simon Pegg is Apple’s godfather!) In any case, I have no strong feelings about her.
Fact 1: I don’t swear. There are any number of crude words I will say, but I have lines I have drawn. Though to disclose fully, I suspect I may need to abandon those lines. So far I haven’t needed to repeat a patient’s profanity in the course of an interview or affidavit, but it does seem like it is only a matter of time. But my point is I don't condone swearing.
Declaration 1: I like a lot of music which happens to contain cursing. Forget You, whether performed by Gwyneth or Cee Lo is just not the same as F*** You. F*** You is a great song. The cursing is the exclamation point at the end of each phrase. So I’ve included below ten songs that I love that are reliant on their profanity. Some are expletive heavy, others just have a swear or two to add some spice. I’ve generally avoided rap and hard rock, as the swearing there is pretty commonplace. Seriously though, don't click on the links unless you want an ear-full. And the songs are catchy, so it might stay there.
List 1: The time of the week when I rank things: Songs With Which I Can’t Sing Along
1. Good Intentions – Tito and Swan
A bizarre confluence of blasphemy, profanity, intoxication and debauchery. It makes it all sound so playful and innocent. Sure to offend most anybody.
2. Toxic – Mark Ronson
ODB is on the track. Ergo, it can't be played in polite company.
3. When You Wasn’t Famous – The Streets
Most any Streets track could be included. I love these guys. Strangely enough I couldn't find an uncensored version of this song.
4. I Can’t Decide – Scissor Sisters
Another track that throws around the F bomb with zero spite or malice, just a smile.
5. F******* Boyfriend – The Bird and the Bee
This is one of many tracks that would have been included in past ChrisMixes, if not for its lyrics. Consequently, ChrisMix usually gets skewed a bit nicer, older and girlier than the actual tracks I hear over the course of the year.
6. Mother****** – Xzibit
Generally I avoided rap music as it is famously profane, so not much of a challenge to include on a list of songs with swearing. But I really like the way this song sounds, even though I can't agree with any of the content.
7. B***** Mother******* ***hole – Martha Wainwright
My third favorite Wainwright. Well, maybe second favorite. But she pulls no punches on this one. She's singing about my third favorite Wainwright.
8. Stack-O-Lee – Samuel L Jackson
This was an underrated movie. This is a great song. Mr. Jackson is a king of cursing.
9. The Dirty Glass – Dropkick Murphys
I think there's only one curse in this one. But it's hard to miss.
10. Don’t Marry Her – The Beautiful South
The contrast between sex and love is so eloquently pointed out using the most famous of curses.
Honorable Mentions
Song of the Dumped – Ben Folds Five
B****– Merideth Brooks
Any one of dozens of Beastie Boys tracks, and most every Eminem track.
Bonus 1:
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I would murder someone to get a job as a critic
Despite my unhealthy fascination with all things entertainment, I’m not much of a movie-goer these days. I like going to movies with girls, but watching movies at home is really a much better date. You can talk, pause, eat, switch movies when she figures out there are zombies in it, etc. I don’t really have many guy friends in Arizona to go see manly movies, nor am I looking for them. Netflix takes care of a bunch, the internet takes care of a bunch, being too busy to realize what movies are out take of the rest. So, the movies I’ve seen in theaters have been few and far between. Except for this week when I saw 2.
The first was It’s Kind of a Funny Story. It was kind of a funny movie. It is a bit stuck in the dramedy zone: spending equal time on both drama and comedy, so not really dramatic or comedic enough to stand on its own. But it did have one of my favorite celebrities of the moment, Zach Galifianakis acting more than he normally does. Admittedly, playing a psych patient wasn’t a huge departure for him. Jim Gaffigan was along for the ride as well, which was a plus. I saw it with 3 of my work colleagues/friends and so we had a good time comparing their psych hospital to ours. But even if you’re not a psychiatrist or a mental patient, I think it was a reasonably good movie. Not great, which was disappointing. It’s one of those movies that is pretty good, but you could see lots of amusing scenes which could’ve been funny, and touchy-feely scenes that could have been genuinely touching. It just wasn’t quite there. It was also one of those movies where they throw in some artistic accents (visual effects, music, creative structure) but none of them REALLY helped anything. They were just there. I sound negative, but only to point out that it wasn’t great. But you’ll laugh, you’ll be a little touched, you’ll be able to overlook some of the clichés and pat conclusions.
The other movie was Easy A. I’d heard some pretty positive reviews, so when a group congealed to see it, I congealed along with them. I’d give Easy A a solid B to B+. It was preachy, but self aware and referential enough that it wasn’t annoying. And the preachiness was actually kind of a unique take, which also helped it stay more palatable. I’m a bit of a comedic misogynist (Sidebar. Women, as a group, are not nearly as funny as men. I don’t think this is genetic, I think it’s societal pressures. It helps men to be funny much more than it helps women. So men spend a fair amount of time and energy fostering this. At the end of the day, women (with important exceptions) tend to be significantly less funny than men. End sidebar.) but Emma Stone pulls it off. Yes, her dialogue is not really believable coming from a 16 year old, but the dialogue is funny, and she delivers it with aplomb. Most everyone else in the film is similarly witty. Her parents in particular are hilarious. I imagine there was a meeting early in production when they had to decide between PG-13 and R, and I’m glad they went PG-13. I’m no prude, I saw MacGruber last week and it was HILARIOUS (I use all caps not because I’m a teenage girl, but because that is going to be the entirety of that movie review) but I feel it really served this movie well to be PG-13. It was kind of the point that the characters were all discussing, worrying, lying and obsessing over sex, but not participating in it. The dialogue was cleverer because it had to stay under the R level, though it came mighty close. It was good times for not the whole family, but for a larger portion of it.
So there are some movies that you should see. It occurred to me as I saw these movies and all the posters for the blockbuster schlock coming out that all movies should be double features. And not just due to exorbitant ticket prices. Every big budget movie should be paired with a little indie flick. There are good and bad movies in both categories, so I’m not saying the indie flick will provide some nutrition after the blockbuster junk food. Just that it would benefit these little movies to get seen, and it should be an option after the popcorn flick to stick around and catch something that might be great.
The first was It’s Kind of a Funny Story. It was kind of a funny movie. It is a bit stuck in the dramedy zone: spending equal time on both drama and comedy, so not really dramatic or comedic enough to stand on its own. But it did have one of my favorite celebrities of the moment, Zach Galifianakis acting more than he normally does. Admittedly, playing a psych patient wasn’t a huge departure for him. Jim Gaffigan was along for the ride as well, which was a plus. I saw it with 3 of my work colleagues/friends and so we had a good time comparing their psych hospital to ours. But even if you’re not a psychiatrist or a mental patient, I think it was a reasonably good movie. Not great, which was disappointing. It’s one of those movies that is pretty good, but you could see lots of amusing scenes which could’ve been funny, and touchy-feely scenes that could have been genuinely touching. It just wasn’t quite there. It was also one of those movies where they throw in some artistic accents (visual effects, music, creative structure) but none of them REALLY helped anything. They were just there. I sound negative, but only to point out that it wasn’t great. But you’ll laugh, you’ll be a little touched, you’ll be able to overlook some of the clichés and pat conclusions.
The other movie was Easy A. I’d heard some pretty positive reviews, so when a group congealed to see it, I congealed along with them. I’d give Easy A a solid B to B+. It was preachy, but self aware and referential enough that it wasn’t annoying. And the preachiness was actually kind of a unique take, which also helped it stay more palatable. I’m a bit of a comedic misogynist (Sidebar. Women, as a group, are not nearly as funny as men. I don’t think this is genetic, I think it’s societal pressures. It helps men to be funny much more than it helps women. So men spend a fair amount of time and energy fostering this. At the end of the day, women (with important exceptions) tend to be significantly less funny than men. End sidebar.) but Emma Stone pulls it off. Yes, her dialogue is not really believable coming from a 16 year old, but the dialogue is funny, and she delivers it with aplomb. Most everyone else in the film is similarly witty. Her parents in particular are hilarious. I imagine there was a meeting early in production when they had to decide between PG-13 and R, and I’m glad they went PG-13. I’m no prude, I saw MacGruber last week and it was HILARIOUS (I use all caps not because I’m a teenage girl, but because that is going to be the entirety of that movie review) but I feel it really served this movie well to be PG-13. It was kind of the point that the characters were all discussing, worrying, lying and obsessing over sex, but not participating in it. The dialogue was cleverer because it had to stay under the R level, though it came mighty close. It was good times for not the whole family, but for a larger portion of it.
So there are some movies that you should see. It occurred to me as I saw these movies and all the posters for the blockbuster schlock coming out that all movies should be double features. And not just due to exorbitant ticket prices. Every big budget movie should be paired with a little indie flick. There are good and bad movies in both categories, so I’m not saying the indie flick will provide some nutrition after the blockbuster junk food. Just that it would benefit these little movies to get seen, and it should be an option after the popcorn flick to stick around and catch something that might be great.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
I'm bitter, but you're ridiculous
Today I walked into work and my boss, let's call him Beard Gap, was talking about Dick Cheney. Why? Because they have the same birthday. I don't know how he got on this subject, but we spent the first ten minutes of our day finding people with our birthdays. Sorry psychiatric patients, but this had to happen before we could start rounding.
I feel the need to post this now so it doesn't seem like a birthday hint-drop. Because those make you a bad person.
Anyway, I share my birthday with:
Maximilian the First, Holy Roman Emperor (dude, sweet moniker)
Marcel Marceau (who strangely enough, died on Beard Gap's birthday)
Bill Shatner (guess how old he is. Wrong. 79.)
Stephen Sondheim AND Andrew Lloyd Webber
Orrin Hatch
Reese Witherspoon
Goethe died on my birthday. Which is sad because I would have liked to have met him. Also he died in 1832.
It's the earliest possible day for Easter to occur.
It's the World Day for Water. I'm not proud of that. That sounds like a lame holiday.
Rarely the Vernal Equinox occurs on my birthday. But usually not.
In 1997, it's the day when Hale-Bopp was the closest it's ever been to the Earth.
I think once I get to the history of astronomy, I've probably included enough.
No, the title of this post isn't a mistake. Sometimes people give me grief over the content of my blog. I don't talk enough about work, I talk too much about tv, it's too dirty, I don't edit it, I don't talk enough about them, it's not in iambic pentameter etc etc. Screw you. I talk about what I want to talk about. Don't read it.
I came across this parody blog the other day. Now, I'm WAY behind the times because I should've been reading it for the last 2 years. But it slipped under the radar. I do study every now and again.
Seriously, so blessed!
It's awesome. I'm bitter so it's doubly funny, but even those of you in fully functional relationships should enjoy it. Hopefully I'm never happy enough to write something like this.
My blog is me. If your blog sounds like SSB, well, I hope that's not actually you. I hope you just need a better editor.
I feel the need to post this now so it doesn't seem like a birthday hint-drop. Because those make you a bad person.
Anyway, I share my birthday with:
Maximilian the First, Holy Roman Emperor (dude, sweet moniker)
Marcel Marceau (who strangely enough, died on Beard Gap's birthday)
Bill Shatner (guess how old he is. Wrong. 79.)
Stephen Sondheim AND Andrew Lloyd Webber
Orrin Hatch
Reese Witherspoon
Goethe died on my birthday. Which is sad because I would have liked to have met him. Also he died in 1832.
It's the earliest possible day for Easter to occur.
It's the World Day for Water. I'm not proud of that. That sounds like a lame holiday.
Rarely the Vernal Equinox occurs on my birthday. But usually not.
In 1997, it's the day when Hale-Bopp was the closest it's ever been to the Earth.
I think once I get to the history of astronomy, I've probably included enough.
No, the title of this post isn't a mistake. Sometimes people give me grief over the content of my blog. I don't talk enough about work, I talk too much about tv, it's too dirty, I don't edit it, I don't talk enough about them, it's not in iambic pentameter etc etc. Screw you. I talk about what I want to talk about. Don't read it.
I came across this parody blog the other day. Now, I'm WAY behind the times because I should've been reading it for the last 2 years. But it slipped under the radar. I do study every now and again.
Seriously, so blessed!
It's awesome. I'm bitter so it's doubly funny, but even those of you in fully functional relationships should enjoy it. Hopefully I'm never happy enough to write something like this.
My blog is me. If your blog sounds like SSB, well, I hope that's not actually you. I hope you just need a better editor.
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